We drove back to Indianapolis where I spend one day at home doing laundry, watering my plants and answering emails. Then I loaded the SUV with luggage and the three kids, left Mr. Hilarious (aka my husband), picked up my squid hunting sister (yes, she really does hunt the squid) and drove 12 hours to Fort Morgan, AL for the annual Kelly family beach vacation. This family reunion is unique in that men are not invited. 25 women and children cram into a house meant for far less people to "enjoy" a relaxing week at the beach. This year, it was a tar ball covered beach no less.
We have done this for the past 14 years, and I run almost every day just to get out of the madness. However, it is 105 degrees with a blazing hot sun so I usually on run 3 miles before I want to drown myself in the ocean. Even though we all love each other dearly and continue to make the brutal drive I have noticed we still complain the majority of the time and always about the same things.
1. When you want to go to bed, someone is yelling right outside your door.
2. You are woken up at the crack of dawn by someone yelling outside your door.
3. During happy nappy, someone is yelling right outside your door.
4. Because no one sleeps, everyone is testy.
5. Someone will always take your beach towel, leaving you soaking wet and toweless
6. If you are lucky enough to steal someone else's towel, you will undoubtably sit on the wet spot on the couch left by someone who had no towel.
7. There are never any bath towels
8. There are never any dish towels.
9. The milk is always warm. We don't know why, but these beach house fridges just can't get it done.
10. There is never enough food at dinner, even if you double the amount you think you need.
11. Even if you bring 3 bottles of sunscreen, someone will use it all by the second day.
12. People will always try to talk to you when want to read a book. If you hide in the bathroom, they will find you.
13. You have to share a double bed with at least three other people. It is worse if one or more of those people is a kid. They kick.
14. Someone will get stung by jelly on the fist day scaring everyone from the ocean the rest of the week.
15. If you aren't one of the first three awake, you have already missed the donettes.
So if any of these are deal breakers, this trip is not for you. Every year I say it is my last. Yet when I get home and look through my photos and videos and facebook all my sisters, aunties and cousins, I just think it looks like we had so much fun. So I will return and complain all next year.
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