Resolutions

I love making New Years Resolutions. I usually make about ten lofty goals and include one gimmie, like "quit smoking crack" or "quit hooking". That way when February rolls around and I have nine broken resolutions, I can say, "well, at least I am not smoking crack."
This may not be funny to you if you are a crack smoker or hooker, but it's funny to me since I would not reveal my post nursing breasts to anyone except my husband no matter how much I was paid. One of my usual resolutions is to care less about offending other people, because someone is always offended.

This year I am trying out twelve monthly resolutions. Each month I will focus on one change, and I will get to start anew each month. That way if one month is a total flop, I can try something else the next month instead of waiting eleven months to start over. And either way, at least I'm not smoking crack.

January's resolution is to write everyday. I have wanted to be a writer since I was a kid. I love doing it, sharing it, reading it. I have this image of me in a cluttered room with a fireplace overlooking a lake. I am drinking coffee, sporting red framed glasses and smoking cigarettes while I type away. I have no fireplace, lake, glasses and quit smoking, but that shouldn't let that stop me. However, you have to write to be a writer and since I rarely get around to writing my head writing down, this will be a good habit for me to cultivate. Whether it's a blog, short story, contest entry, or letter to my kids, I will write 15 minutes everyday. I am three days into the New Year, and this is the first time I've written. I'd give myself an F, an F, and a C-. The C- is because while I did set my alarm early, and I did drag myself out of bed, and I am writing away, I have somehow deleted this blog twice in some sort of secret computer move. I've cursed more than I've actually written. I should make one month's resolution "become more computer savvy", but at least I'm not smoking crack. Okay, I know it's tired now, but I just can't help it. It cracks me up every time! Now I have spent 45 minutes writting and accidently detleting and will be late. Not only have I run out of time to proof read, but it undoubtably means I will yell at the kids who are complete slow butts in morning. I am 90% sure no one is even dressed, and we have to leave in 25 minutes. It's a good thing this month's resolution is not to stop yelling and rushing in the morning.